How Should You Prepare An Eulogy For A Loved One?

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Eulogizing a loved one is one of the more difficult aspects of saying goodbye. During a time of tremendous grief and stress, you are now expected to speak about what he or she meant to you and others. Although you have the right to write and deliver the eulogy you want, there are some tips that could help you pay tribute in the best manner possible.

Do Not Minimize the Loss

It is difficult to know what to say to help others deal with their grief. During your eulogy, you are not only expected to talk about the deceased, but provide comfort to others. It might be tempting to minimize the loss of your loved one, but you should avoid doing this.

Minimizing the loss includes using phrases like, "He lived a long life." Although your words are meant to comfort, for some people, they can seem hurtful. It is okay to talk about how much it hurts. Be upfront and honest about how you feel about the loss. Others will understand how you feel and will feel freer to express their own grief.

Avoid Sugarcoating the Deceased

Once someone has passed, it might seem better to only focus on the good about him or her. Although you likely have a lot of good memories, you must also remember that the person was human. Sugarcoating his or her life or pretending that your loved one was something that he or she was not does not allow everyone to properly grieve.

Be honest about your loved one. Being honest does not mean trash him or her in your eulogy. What it does mean is not going overboard with speaking about the deceased. You can talk about his or her quirks, tell funny stories, and even share some shortcomings and still deliver a good eulogy. Remember, this is a chance for family and friends to talk about someone who they knew and loved.

Practice the Eulogy

Delivering the eulogy will be difficult, but it can be worse if you do not take the time to practice it before the service. While practicing, you will have a chance to assess what does and does not work. Saying and hearing the words gives you a different perspective of what is written on your paper.

If you can, have a friend or family member listen to the eulogy. He or she can help you edit it, if necessary. He or she might also have an anecdote to add that could make it more personal.

The funeral home director and staff can offer additional guidance on crafting your eulogy. For more information, contact local professionals or visit sites like