When a child passes on, you as their parent are forced to handle one of the harshest cards life can deal you. In all of your grief, the idea of having to plan a funeral can be overwhelming. But planning a funeral for your child is a part of the grieving process, and working your way through this endeavor is an important first step towards accepting what has happened and, in time, moving forward. Planning this funeral will, without a doubt, be one of the hardest things you ever have to do. But the tips below will help you make it through.
Designate a friend to handle communications for you.
Having to field every phone call from the funeral home, florist, and other associated vendors can be burdensome. So, ask a close friend to handle some of these communications for you. This friend will either know what you want and be able to communicate those desires immediately -- or they can tactfully ask you what you want rather than leaving you to explain your desires time and time again to well-meaning vendors.
Be specific in your requests to the funeral home. Write them down if it's easier.
You probably have preferences as to how your child is dressed, how their hair is prepared, and so forth before the funeral. But it can be difficult to convey these interests in words when you are living through this terrible experience. Instead, write these desires down on paper as they come to you, and then give that paper to the funeral director. Be specific in your requests, and do not feel like you are asking too much. It is the funeral home's job to satisfy your needs during this time.
Consider using a funeral home further from home.
Having to drive by the funeral home where you said your final goodbyes to your child each day on your way to work can be a burden. For this reason, many parents find it easier to hire a funeral home that's in the next town or a few towns away. You can always drive back to the funeral home in the future if you want those memories, but you won't be forced to re-live those memories when you do not want to.
No parent deserves to have to bury their child. The experience of planning a funeral and saying your final goodbyes won't be easy, but the tips above can help somewhat.